It’s 2020, and I still haven’t written down my goals for the new year.
The enthusiasm to announce what I’ll be achieving in the new decade wasn’t in me.
As social media set ablaze with ten-year reflections and #throwback collages, I had nothing to offer. I sat in the bed feeling trite – slowly morphing into the Grinch who stole Christmas.
My friend asked me what I gained from 2019. I couldn’t answer the question. I was shooting blanks. If that wasn’t jarring leading up to the holidays’ everyone wanted to catch up. Frankly, it was overwhelming – this pressure to jam everything in before the end of 2019. I just wanted to call it a day. See you in 2020 sis.
Attempting to find solace in the gym (31 days sober and clean eating) might I add. I was listening to Amanda Seales’ podcast, Small Doses. In this episode, Amanda was going down memory lane, listing the things she’s achieved in the last decade. I felt small hiking up the hill after such a bomb workout. I was like DAMN, what the hell have I been doing with my life?
I had to get out of my ego and go back to an article I wrote not long ago: I let age rule the better part of my life and made bad decisions because of it to remind myself “Bish it’s okay your story ain’t Amanda’s story.” You define your success! It will look, sound and feel different to everybody else.
It’s okay to move in silence, stay hydrated and mind your business until you determine when YOU arrive.
When the masses are New Decade, Who Dis, it’s okay to say New Decade, Ima Wait On It. Seasons change, and so does the direction of the wind. Be kind to yourself, if you don’t have it figured out. The fact that you’re still breathing is a blessing. You have a bed to lay in to contemplate, the freedom to experiment and the prerogative to straight chill.
I’m at a point in life where I don’t want to be all put together. Why, because I’m TIRED. I’m human and forget that comparison is the biggest thief of joy. Yes, I want to be purposeful, but I want to go at my own pace. Not when the clock strikes 2020.
Instead of writing down plans to take over the world I got back into the gym. I found my love for health again.
If this is what I’ve achieved thus far, so be it.
It’s okay to #JustBe.
If you like this article check out Why A Gap Year Is Good For Your Mental Health.
Sasha Sarago is the Editor and Founder of Ascension — Australia’s first digital lifestyle platform for women of colour.